Finding my happy place....

This pregnancy has been incredibly hard on me.
Not physically, but emotionally.
I have been battling severe depression
not the "I want to kill myself" depression fortunately.
but the "I want to sleep all day, not move, not talk, cry all the time, not happy" kind of depression.
What makes it worse is I know how stupid it is, how stupid I am. That's why I haven't told anyone.

The reasons I shouldn't be depressed..........I have the BEST husband. He works so hard and then comes home and does soooo much for me. Cleans, does laundry, gets Mae showered and in bed for me. No joke every night and NEVER complains. He's absolutely amazing.
Then Mae.... that little girl is truly the light of my life. She's so sweet. (Offering me her "frenin" when I was upset at the Dr's office) Doesn't complain when we don't get out of the house for days. She's tracing Numbers and letters on an app on my phone and every time she does one she screams "I DID IT!" She's learning her colors and shapes and always wants me to teach her new things. Makes me so happy that she wants to learn and loves to learn. She reminds me to say prayers at EVERY meal (even snacks) and is always telling me she loves me and "you de best" 
I look at every thing I have and there's NO reason to be depressed. I honestly have SO much but I can't shake this. Now with all these contractions I have to "take it super easy" which means a lot of sitting down and thinking. Not to mention it's 115 degrees outside so even sitting outside causes contractions :/
and then July is a tough month as it is,2 births 2 deaths in a span of a week.  I usually try to stay busy but now that's out of the question. So I feel like I'm forced to sit here and wallow. I feel its getting to much. I don't know what to do anymore besides sleep.

I'm 29 weeks today... hopefully less than 10 weeks and I can stop feeling like this........

The K's in my life....

I love my sister and I LOOOOOVVVEEEE her family. I am SOOOO blessed we live only 12 minute away from each other! Anyways this post is about her kids. The 6 K's I love every one of them SO much and each one I love SOOO differently. You would think that living in a family of 6 kids one or two would not have a personality of their own. Like they would get lost in the crowd. But this is SO not the case with the K's LOL. The personalities that those little people have are unreal. Since its Kambrya's birthday this month and I got the most adorable pictures of her I thought I would single her out here. Oh and another thing.... Shalaynas Kids dont go by their first names... EVER. They all have nicknames.. Kambryas is Breah This little girl is so freaking cute you want to punch someone. I swear she's an Old soul. I mean the little girl birthed herself hahahahahahahaha Anyways, we were swimming at their house and she was sleeping. I was taking pictures when she woke up and caught her yawning.

 

and then I caught this cute little look haha

 Shes so beautiful it blows me away.

Happy almost 3rd birthday Breah!! We love you!